Busy Mamas

My daughter is a diva. And a fashion critic. And picky as hell. I have learned the hard way that I can no longer go to the store to pick out cute clothes without her approval because they will end up sitting in the closet never to see the light of day. Literally. I can’t count the number of times I have had to struggle to get her to wear something that doesn’t meet her approval. If it’s not “too short,” then it’s “too big,” or it “makes me look too cute,” or it’s not the right color, or “my friends will laugh at me” (You are in preschool. You are 4 years old. What do you and your friends know about bad fashion and style etiquette? You have little princesses and butterflies printed on your underwear and like to show them to people.). If I insist she wear something the night before and lay it out for her, the offending outfit mysteriously gets hidden in the back of the closet and she comes strolling out of her room wearing one of her 4 favorite dresses. Her teachers must think she only has 4 outfits because that’s all she seems to wear.

The other week I actually managed to make her wear a brand-new outfit that has been sitting in her closet for months. I was quite proud that I got her out of the house with minimal fighting (no tears and no threats of someone going to school naked). But then I went to pick her up from school. As her teacher put her into the car she casually mentioned that my daughter wore her jacket ALL day (zipped to the neck as far as it possibly could go) and refused to take it off even though it was pretty hot out. She said my daughter must have been cold. She had no idea. As we started to drive off I asked her if she was wearing the jacket because she didn’t want anyone to see her outfit. She started laughing and said “Yes, because I didn’t want to look silly!” It’s a button-down shirt and skirt for crying out loud, not an elephant costume! And like wearing a hooded fleece jacket zipped up to your chin in 80 degree weather does not look silly. Dork.

So what’s my solution? I hide her clothes. As soon as I wash her favorite dresses I hide them in my closet until she is forced to wear some of the other clothes. I have told her that she won’t get her favorites back until all of the unused items have been worn. Essentially her coveted dresses are being held hostage until the ransom demands have been met. This system has been working quite nicely since she either has to wear the stuff she deems “silly” or go to school naked. I guess I’ll have to start hiding the jackets now too. Yeah I know, she’ll have lots to tell her therapist when she’s older.